Are we in a gay sports bar?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
