I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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