At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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