I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
