That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
