No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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