I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
