id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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