u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
