I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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