just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
