It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
