he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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