Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
