Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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