What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
