I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
