goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I won the penis lottery.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Terrible idea I love it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize