Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
