you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
