I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
