Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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