I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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