I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
