Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
