Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
North Korea, Best Korea!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
