Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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