I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
farters have to be the big spoon...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
