You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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