Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
