"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize