Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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