So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
