great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
