I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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