i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
