My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
