Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
