When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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