know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
