Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
