You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
