What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
