Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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