then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
