It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize