At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
