I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
