tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
