Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize