that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
