Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
