Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
