We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
