your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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