Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
