you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize