i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
