Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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