we have officially lost it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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