My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
