we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I look better un-naked...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
