3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
