HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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