I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
