Do you still have your period?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
