We're facebook friends in real life
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
