So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
