i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
