would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
